Ghetto Resume

Resume of:  Shaynana Chiquita Shanekia "Pookie" Jones

ADDRESS:    2036 South Side Skreet, Compton, CA  11122
PHONE:      Cut off right now but will be back on by the 15th

OBJECTIVE:  To one day forefill my dream of bein'a Soul Train danca
and you know just gittin' my life togetha and stuff.  I also hope to
one day be the best cosmotologecalist (you know what I mean)Beauty
Speciacalist) there is in my hood.

SKILLS:  I do hurh (hair) and nails in my kitchen and I be using my
glitter and weave bonding glue for arts and crafts and stuff.  I be
doing braids in any texture or color: synthetic or real human hurh.
Black, blonde, brown, dark brown, dark black, gold blonde, dark gold
blonde,red, maroon,blue and rainbo colors.

EDUCATION:  THE "GET YOURS" HOME CORREPONDENCE COURSE, INC.
BIG MAMA'S HOUSE OF HAIR N' NAILS N' FRIED CHICKEN N' GREENS
(gradmuated with honors for the most extenzions done in a year's time).

WORK EXPERIENCE:
Big Daddy's Motel Motor Lodge Bar & Grill Pool Hall & Bait N' Tackle
Shop       (January 10, 1998 - January 30, 1998)
Reason for leaving:  Big Daddy kept hitting on me.

My Baby's Daddy Day Care Center Car Wash & Shoe Repair (Nov. 2,
1998 - Nov.  10, 1998) Reason for Leaving:  They tri to work a
sistuh to death and I got thangs ta do!

The Golden Tooth Dental & Jewelry Emporium (Mar. 1, 1998 - Nov. 1,
1998) I loveded this job cause they gaveded me a free tooth every
month and now I can spell my baby daddy name but they done up and
fired me cause I let one of my homeboys sniff that laughing gas. He
just smelt it; he don't do drugs no mo.

Kim Fung Toi's Restuarat & Pet Shop (you don't even wanna know).

Jimmy's Jheri Curls & Motor Lube (Nov. 6, 1998 - Nov. 7, 1998)
Reason for Leaving:  (Hospitalized for spine injury when I slipped on
an overflow over activator).

The Ike Turner Hoe Slap Recovery Center ( Jan 5, 1999- Jan 12, 1999)
accommodations; yes, I worked there and was a patient too)
Reason for Leaving:  Center closed down cause Tina Turner done
refused Ike's request to give us a benefit concert and donate the
money to Ike.  Ike say Tina done got beside hurself since she a big
star.
He say he remember when she was Anna Mae Bullock from Nut Bush,
Tennessee.

References:

Pookie Terrence johnson (my 1st babies daddy)
Tray Oscar Pickens (my 2nd babies daddy)
Tommy "Slick Tooth" Griffin (my 9th babies daddy)
Lawanda Jenkins (from up the skreet)
Hezakiah Clevestus "the playa" Jones (my mama's sister's
brother-in-law, uncle half-brother)
The Right Reverend Aliza Benjamin Ineedadrank O'Grady (Pastor of
The Greater Mt. Carmel Church of God in Christ Kingdom Hall of Our
Lady of Saints Holy Rosary Later Day Seventh Advent Saints
Episcapaleen Saidified Non-Denominational Baptist Church, Inc. (a
not-for-profit agency).

Note:  All time periods unaccounted for above when I wasn't working
are "none of your business but I was not on no welfare cause I
done always worked at something nother."

Resume by The Professional Resume People, Inc. of South Central

Something about that boat

Something about that boat

"Life is all about ass...either you are covering it, kicking it, kissing it, or trying to get it."

More Trees. Less BUSH!!

Dey Spinnin' foo, Dey Spinnin'

Deuce Spinner Wheels for Bicycles

Next time you roll up on those punk ass kids on your block, make sure it's with some dubs from Deuce, which is selling the world's first spinner rims for bicycles.

Cita

Remember Cita's World on BET. What happened to her she was nice..  She was one of the best lookin Vj's they had at BET. 

 

P.S. I guess they found AJ.  Welcome back AJ!  sike!

Ill take a #4 and a twompsack please. Supersized!

AMBLER, Pa. - The secret at one McDonald's wasn't just in the sauce. The manager at a McDonald's in Montgomery County, Pa., has pleaded guilty to selling pot along with Big Macs.

Authorities say word about Denise Stilwagon's $10 bags got out and she sold some of the illegal weed to an undercover detective.

Stilwagon was sentenced to time already served plus four years of probation.

Her boyfriend and supplier, James Harry, has also pleaded guilty and was ordered to serve 90 days in jail.

Woman loses fight with couch.

480-Pound Woman Dies After Six Years On Couch

STUART, Fla. -- A 480-pound Martin County woman has died after emergency workers tried to remove her from the couch where she had remained for about six years.

CLICK FOR LARGER IMAGE

Gayle Laverne Grinds, 40, died Wednesday, after a failed six-hour effort to dislodge her from the couch in her home. Workers say the home was filthy, and Grinds was too large to get up from the couch to even use the bathroom.

Everyone going inside the home had to wear protective gear. The stench was so powerful they had to blast in fresh air.

 

A preliminary autopsy on the the four-foot, ten-inch woman lists the cause of death as "morbid obesity." But officials want to know more about the circumstances inside the home.

 

Investigators say Grinds lived with a man named Herman Thomas, who says he tried to take care of her the best he could. He has told them he tried repeatedly to get her up, but simply couldn't. No charges have been filed, but officials are looking into negligence issues.

Emergency workers had to remove some sliding glass doors and lift the couch, with Grinds still on it, to a trailer behind a pickup truck. Removing her from the couch would be too painful, since her body was grafted to the fabric. After years of staying put, her skin had literally become one with the sofa and had to be surgically removed.

She died at Martin Memorial Hospital South, still attached to the couch.

Neighbors say they had no idea Grinds lived at the duplex, though they had seen Thomas and some children outside.

"Life is all about ass...either you are covering it, kicking it, kissing it, or trying to get it."

IE alternative - Avant Browser

With all the security flaws and issues with Internet Explorer.  I have found the best replacement..  Ever since I installed it its the only browser I use.  While it does use the IE engine its still more than twice as fast. Almost all options can be disabled or enabled from the Tools menu..  HIGHLY RECCOMMENDED espcially if your a web developer like myself.

 

Program Title: Avant Browser

Category: Internet\Web Browsers

License Type: Freeware

Description:

Avant Browser is a fast, stable, user-friendly, versatile multi-window browser. Avant Browser allows user to browse multiple Web sites simultaneously and block all unwanted pop-up pages and flash ads. All opened pages can be easily stopped, refreshed, closed or arranged with one click. The integrated cleaner helps user to clear all traces and keep privacy. Built-in Yahoo/Google search engine enables user to search for web pages, images, groups, directories, lyrics, software and news in Internet. Program is available in 32 different translations.

Install Support: Install & Uninstall

System Requirement: Win98/ME/NT/2000/XP, Internet Explorer 5.5 or higher version

Home Page: http://www.avantbrowser.com

Download Link: http://www.qwerks.com/download/5337/absetup.exe

Mirror Download Link: http://eu.avantbrowser.com/absetup.exe

Screenshot: http://www.avantbrowser.com/images/sc.jpg

Program Icon: http://www.avantbrowser.com/images/icon.gif

"Life is all about ass...either you are covering it, kicking it, kissing it, or trying to get it."

Penis explodes during sex

"BUST ONE FOR THE HOMIES!!!"

Doctors in Romania are treating a 28-year-old whose penis exploded while he was making love to his girlfriend.

Ilarie Coroiu was taken to hospital in the Transylvanian town of Cluj after his girlfriend, Magdalena, 18, "felt something strange" and noticed that the bed was covered in blood.

Dr Angela Domocos, head of the accident and emergency department at Cluj General Hospital, said: "It is very rare for this to happen. We call it an exploded penis because it happens when the blood cavities in the penis burst.

"I don't know what this couple were playing at, but there must have been tremendous pressure inside the penis to make this happen."

Mr Coroiu is now recovering after an operation to stop the bleeding.

My beef with 106&Park

Why in the hell do they pump the shit out of a video then when they finally play it they cut it off before the end of the first verse..  That shits just whack..  They started playin a video that I was actually interested in seeing..  Then they cut if off right in the middle of the first verse..  I mean dayum the beat hadn't fully started yet.. 

 

My advise for 106&Park STOP PLAYIN VIDEOS just say what the list is and go the fucks home..  Is it really worth playin not even the first 60 seconds of the video.  Better yet just play the full legnth top 5 vids and just say who was 6-10. Or you can even just say your gonna play a snippet of the video.. 

 

Tell Free to stop with the played out weaves. We already kno what she look like fo' real so she aint gotta front with 2 horses on the back of her head. 

 

Oh yeah, Where the fuck is AJ?