Things You Wish You Could Say at Work...

# I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
# I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a fuck.
# How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
# It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
# I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
# Ahhh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
# You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
# I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
# The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
# Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
# I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
# I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
# Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
# I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
# What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
# I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
# Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
# It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
# Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
# No, my powers can only be used for good.
# I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
# You sound reasonable.......time to up my medication.
# I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
# I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
# I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
# Who me! I just wander from room to room.
# My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!